the X factor –=Every Little Thing =–

cool sunday night,

within my own small world in the room,

off the light,

light up a tealight candle,

with a cup of whiskey,

and few sticks of cigarettes,

play some chillout newage music,

blue stone and delerium,

then close eyes… think of nothing…

oh my… duno for how long, never enjoy the music like this…

it just sounds,

extrodinarily nice…

maybe only this time at night… makes the music that flows out of the speakers sound so pure so clear n so beautiful

or maybe it’s cos of the darkness, the little candle light, the whiskey, the cig…

or maybe it’s cos of this moment…

this moment, is the moment

and only this moment…

Nelly Furtado - In God’s Hands

I looked at your face I saw that all the love had died
I saw that we had forgotten to take the time
I, I saw that you couldn’t care less about what you do
Couldn’t care less about the lies
You couldn’t find the time to cry

We forgot about love
We forgot about faith
We forgot about trust
We forgot about us

Now our love’s floating out the window
Our love’s floating out the back door
Our love’s floating up in the sky in heaven
Where it began back in God’s hands

You said that you had said all that you had to say
You said baby it’s the end of the day
And we gave a lot but it wasn’t enough
We got so tired that we just gave up

We didn’t respect it
We went and neglected it
We didn’t deserve it
But I never expected this

Our love floated out the window
Our love floated out the back door
Our love floated up in the sky to heaven
It’s part of a plan
It’s back in God’s hands
Back in God’s hands

It didn’t last
It’s a thing of the past
Oh we didn’t understand
Just what we had
Oh I want it back
Just what we had
Oh I want it back
Oh just what we had

周星星的名言:『地球是很危险滴，你还是回到火星上去叭！』

蛮适合我的。

在感情的世界里，觉得自己就像是个火星人，永远无法适应那样的游戏规则，所以out of the game。

看了太多的暧昧，发生在别人身上，现在也能理所当然的旁观和gossip。换到自己身上，明明知道只是暧昧，却总是那么容易就认真了。

每次都爱的太专注，世界里只有她一个；每次都爱的太用力，想为她做所有的事情，只想对她好，却总是觉得不够；每次都爱的很辛苦，因为只是一厢情愿；每次都爱的很痛苦，因为每次都是不可能。

每次都告诉自己，是心甘情愿的，没有谁可以blame，就好像永远不会受伤，受了伤也不会痛一样。然而每次最后都是故作坚强的放弃，虽然不知道心里什么时候才能把她忘记。

真的不会受伤么？真的不会痛么？只是伤了痛了也没有人懂，甚至都不会有人知道，更不会有人安慰。装作很坚强的样子，在别人面前看起来很cheerful…

一次一次的伤痛，让破碎了再修补起来的心更麻木，好让它下一次可以承受更多，虽然往往是会破碎的更加彻底。。。

就好像是这一次。。。还是不由自主的受伤了，真的受伤了… 我也不知道自己为什么会这么伤心，真的爱一个人就会这样么？

已经很久没有在blog里写这样的东西了，但是不写出来真的很难过。。。自己要那样的伤心和难过，只是自找的罢了，deserve it…

这一次以后，真的是要改变了，也许不该再随意的挥霍自己的真心，我做的到吗?

夜，
没有开灯，站在窗前看灯火阑珊。
喝加了冰块的绿茶，点了根烟。
十月的凉风，在黑夜里静悄悄的吹拂着，
掠过我的脸。
风儿让我突然觉得有点，莫名的冷。

拿着装满冰块的杯子的手是冷的，
心也是冷的