Oct 21
2007

cool sunday night,

within my own small world in the room,

off the light,

light up a tealight candle,

with a cup of whiskey,

and few sticks of cigarettes,

play some chillout newage music,

blue stone and delerium,

then close eyes… think of nothing…

 

oh my… duno for how long, never enjoy the music like this…

it just sounds,

extrodinarily nice…

maybe only this time at night… makes the music that flows out of the speakers sound so pure so clear n so beautiful

or maybe it’s cos of the darkness, the little candle light, the whiskey, the cig…

or maybe it’s cos of this moment…

this moment, is the moment

and only this moment…

Oct 08
2007

火星人

12:23pm 心情.随笔 Read 14 time(s) No Comments »

周星星的名言:『地球是很危险滴,你还是回到火星上去叭!』

蛮适合我的。

在感情的世界里,觉得自己就像是个火星人,永远无法适应那样的游戏规则,所以out of the game。

看了太多的暧昧,发生在别人身上,现在也能理所当然的旁观和gossip。换到自己身上,明明知道只是暧昧,却总是那么容易就认真了。

每次都爱的太专注,世界里只有她一个;每次都爱的太用力,想为她做所有的事情,只想对她好,却总是觉得不够;每次都爱的很辛苦,因为只是一厢情愿;每次都爱的很痛苦,因为每次都是不可能。

每次都告诉自己,是心甘情愿的,没有谁可以blame,就好像永远不会受伤,受了伤也不会痛一样。然而每次最后都是故作坚强的放弃,虽然不知道心里什么时候才能把她忘记。

真的不会受伤么?真的不会痛么?只是伤了痛了也没有人懂,甚至都不会有人知道,更不会有人安慰。装作很坚强的样子,在别人面前看起来很cheerful…

一次一次的伤痛,让破碎了再修补起来的心更麻木,好让它下一次可以承受更多,虽然往往是会破碎的更加彻底。。。

就好像是这一次。。。还是不由自主的受伤了,真的受伤了… 我也不知道自己为什么会这么伤心,真的爱一个人就会这样么?

已经很久没有在blog里写这样的东西了,但是不写出来真的很难过。。。自己要那样的伤心和难过,只是自找的罢了,deserve it…

这一次以后,真的是要改变了,也许不该再随意的挥霍自己的真心,我做的到吗?

Oct 01
2007

夜,
没有开灯,站在窗前看灯火阑珊。
喝加了冰块的绿茶,点了根烟。
十月的凉风,在黑夜里静悄悄的吹拂着,
掠过我的脸。
风儿让我突然觉得有点,莫名的冷。

拿着装满冰块的杯子的手是冷的,
心也是冷的

Sep 27
2007

阿桑 - 温柔的慈悲

其实我早应该了解
你的温柔是一种慈悲
但是我怎么也学不会
如何能不被情网包围

其实我早应该告别
你的温柔和你的慈悲
但是我还深深的沉醉在
快乐痛苦的边缘

你温柔的慈悲
让我不知该如何面对
再也不能给我任何安慰
再也阻挡不了我的泪水

你温柔的慈悲
让我不知道如何后悔
再也不可能有任何改变
再也愈合不了我的心碎

Sep 26
2007

十月,就要来了,

突然有点怀念起十年前的这段日子。。。

十年前的这个时候,大概是夏秋之交了吧,早晚已有了些许的沁人的凉意。

喜欢那样的季节。

十年前的我,17岁。

那个时候的我,大概还在每天的埋头苦读吧。。。

十月将要到来的日子,对那时候的我来说,有些特别。

曾经很喜欢的小蝶的生日就在十月一号。所以每次十月快要到的时候,心里总是特别的忐忑。先是想着要用省下来的不多的零用钱给她买什么生日礼物。好不容易买到礼物之后,又在头痛怎样送给她,然后不安的猜测她会不会接受。。。

十年前的一切,就像是一张淡淡泛黄的旧的黑白照片。平时不知道把它丢在了哪个角落。然而在偶尔收拾记忆的时候,那张泛黄的黑白照片不经意间轻轻的掉落在面前,捡起来一看,当初的种种苦涩和悲伤,都已褪色不见,但看着照片,还是会淡淡的会心一笑。:)

Sep 18
2007

could say that i was growing up with “doraemon”. HA even now i still keep a set of the comics :P

still can remember some of the stories… everytime no matter how unlucky and dumb Nobita is, what kind of trouble he has created, doraemon would always be there to help him with magic tools from his little pocket.

im wondering…

maybe sometimes everybody also need a doraemon… though we are not as unlucky and dumb as Nobita… you know, just sometimes…

where is my doraemon? maybe i should also have one, at least deep in the heart

              doraemon.gif

Sep 14
2007

C. A. R. E

12:43am 心情.随笔 Read 310 time(s) No Comments »

CONFIDENT
AMBITIOUS
RESPONSIBLE
EXPRESSIVE

Jul 02
2007

where is heaven? how does heaven look like?

『the five people you meet in heaven』 (by mitch albom) gives the answers…

heaven is not a lush garden of eden but a place where your earthly life is explained to you by five people who were in it. those people may have been loved ones or distant strangers. yet each of them changed your path for ever

eddie dies for trying to save a little girl’s life. he meets 5 people in the heaven, who have came across his life and been waiting for him in the heaven…

each of the five people tells eddie some stories, and teaches him a lesson…

…excerpt from the book…

1st lesson - life and death

fairness doesn’t govern life and death…

all lives intersect. death doesn’t just take someone, it misses someone else. and in the small distance between being taken and being missed, lives are changed.

when lightning strikes a minute after you are gone, or an airplane crashes that you might have been on. when you colleague falls ill and you do not. we think such things are radom. but there is a balance to it. one withers, another grows…

2nd lesson - sacrifice

sacrifice, you made one. i made one. we all make them. but you were angry over yours. you kept thinking about what you lost.

sacrifice is a part of life. it’s supposed to be. it’s not something to regret. it’s something to aspire.

(when you did sacrifice), you lost something, but you gained something as well. you just don’t know it yet.

3rd lesson - forgiveness

holding anger is a poison. it eats you from inside. we think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. but hatred is a curved blade. and the harm we do, we do to ourselves.

4th lesson - lost love

lost love is still love. it takes a different form, that’s all. you cant see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. but when those senses weaken, another heightens. memory. memory becomes your partner. you nurture it. you hold it. you dance with it.

life has to end. love doesn’t.

you made me love you
i didn’t want to do it
i didn’t want to do it…
you made me love you
and all the time you knew it
and all the time you knew it

5th lesson - meaning of life

everyone is part of this world. everyone has his meaning to exist in this world. everyone is worth something. whatever work you do, you are supposed to do. whereever you are… you are supposed to be

* * *

a simple but very meaningful story… great book!!

who are the five people im going to meet in heaven??